Ministers are not Therapists

For the past couple of weeks I have come into contact with everyone from family members to loose acquaintances who want to unload all of their problems onto me. They go into graphic details about their struggles financially, relationally, emotionally, spiritually. As a minister, I feel like out of that list I am only qualified to counsel on one of those topics (I will let you guess which one). I know a good bit about the other topics, but they are not my areas of expertise.

People think that because I am a minister that I am a priest at a confessional booth wanting to hear about all their problems and to tell them to say some hail marys and our Fathers so that there sins will be forgiven.

Okay, so I understand that in order to be a minister that I am going to have to sympathize/empathize with people in their struggles in life. That I am supposed to pray for the ones that are having a hard time, and trust me, I do. My cry, however, is not for everyone to stop unloading their problems on me, in a way I consider that an honor. My cry is that people would not just see me as a free therapist for them. That I would not be labeled and stereotyped into someone that I am not. There are many people with many problems in the world, and I have my own as well.

If you are having problems I beg you, go see someone who is trained to help you. Don't bother your pastor because mostly all he can give you is spiritual advise. There comes a time when a minister can only do so much to help. Go to a professional, and confess your sins to God (1 John 1:8-9).

Defining Ministry

So I am taking a pastoral leadership class this summer, the books that I am reading are painting a portrait of a certain kind of minister. It seems as if the book is saying that as a minister you should wear a three piece suit, kiss hands and shake babies (I think I got that one mixed up) and have a clear "pastor voice." The book even went as far as to say that you should seek to please everyone in your congregation.

So if I am to be a Pastor is this the mold I am to fit into? A superficial "yes man" who is nice to everyone and is as squeaky clean as the day my mother gave birth to me?

Don't get me wrong I don't mind wearing ties or being nice to people, but really? Jesus didn't wear a suit, and I am pretty sure they were not even invented then. He wasn't nice to everyone. He called a woman a dog, and the religious Pharisees snakes. He turned over tables and beat people with whips. He Shook babies(Just having fun with the last one)! Jesus did not fit any mold, but he did what he saw the Father doing, he did what God would have him do whether or not it fit a certain religious standard. In fact, the religious people saw him as rebellious and as a sinner because he failed to comply with their outer code.

I think the only mold that a spiritual leader needs to fit into is the one that has a thriving relationship with Jesus Christ, and the one that seeks to live a holy life of integrity and honesty. The outer will go to the grave, the inner lives forever.